I write when I’m brave

because it hurts
it pulls at my mind
the things I want
to keep in my drawer
but never look at

it grates reality against reality
until you think you can hear
sighing for all the awful
things you swear you aren’t thinking
and I’m sorry

and I’m sorry

forget you saw anything and
we’ll go back to advertising smiles
lined like prisoners in newspaper ads
rip them off and there’s nothing
underneath you know that
everyone knows that
but forget it

don’t tell me to level buildings or parks or seas
I wouldn’t know how
I wouldn’t want to know
how to tear up the world

listen to my voice but don’t mind the words
I’m just vomiting what you think I want to hear
listening to what I think you want to say

pick up a Fred Meyers’ ad
there are plenty
tear off her face that one on the front
see how many are behind her
they’re all the same
tilt the same eyes
the same curling jaw

i’m there too five layers
down and to the left
my eyes are her eyes
and my jaw curls
so it’s better to leave her

alone, the poor girl,
leave her face in tact
behind it is more of the same
look at her face and know us all
read her caption and see the future
that’s why I don’t write

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