Nunya: A Poem

I’ve always thought
my private thoughts are
nunya

business.
They suck emotional
energy to unpack
so why should I
unpack for just anyone?
Please
don’t shame me
for not being
open.

How am I doing?
I’m spring-loaded,
not sure what I want
but ready to betray
myself to get it.

What have I been up to?
I’ve been charting
personality, sexuality
and the future,
still ashamed
that I think better on paper.

I’ve been stripping myself down
to find enlightenment.
Honing my senses
to hear the woods.

I’ve been doing things I don’t like and
kissing people I don’t love,
but what actually sets me
on fire
isn’t relatable enough
for small talk.

How do I
make this heart
casual enough for conversation?