In one week, I will be going into Portland to take the JLPT. It’s a 4 hour test that will test my knowledge of Japanese vocab, grammar, and listening skills.
And, like the striving idiot that I am, I signed up not for N5 – the level that my Japanese class covered- but N4. I told myself: “I’ll study a bit and take a harder test. No sweat.”
Well, I’m sweating. I took a practice exam today to see how I was doing and I got a 47%, which is actually way better than I thought I would do. Ironically, it’s that little glimmer of hope that’s sparked this worry in me.
I was expecting to bomb the test because I haven’t been studying as much as I should and my immersion is nonexistent. So I figured I would fail and thought, “Oh well. At least I tried.”
But that 47%, man…that 47% is almost 50% which is almost passing. It’s a high enough score that I think, if I study really really hard this week, I have at least a small chance of passing. But on the flip side, if I don’t study hard enough, I’ll fail. The JLPT has been put back into my hands and I hate it. Okay, not really. I guess it’s good news in the end.
Moral of the story is that even though responsibility with harsh consequences is no fun, it’s better than having no control at all.
Protagonized. 
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